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My son, who is 11, asked me last nite when his penis will get bigger. HOW does a Mom answer this question? I did the only thing I knew to do. I googled 'puberty' and read aloud key points to him.

But it wasn't enough. "BUT WHEN WILL IT GET BIGGER?" he asked. Like an idiot, without thinking a bit, I googled something about getting a big penis.

BIG MISTAKE. Don't ever do that. At least not with a child sitting next to you. My son got an eyeful of porn the likes of which I didn't see until I was in my 20's. I quickly covered his eyes and shut off the monitor.

NOW, we all know how easy it is to pull up porn. Sometimes you don't even mean to do it. So why not WARN people when it's about to pop up? For instance, before it presents itself, why not have something come up that says:

YOU ARE ABOUT TO VIEW A SITE THAT CONTAINS NUDITY

AND GRAPHIC SEX.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE?

I think this is a FANTASTIC idea, don't you? What would it take to institute something like this? I'd really like some suggestions.

Wanna feel old? READ THIS.

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1987.

• They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
• Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
• Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
• The CD was introduced the year they were born.
• They have always had an answering machine.
• They have always had cable.
• They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
• Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
• Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
• They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
• They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane."
• They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
• McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
• They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet?

Johnny Fairplay gets "played".

Remember Johnny Fairplay from Survivor a few years ago? God, I HATED this guy! Apparently, I'm not the only one as he has the distinction of being the least popular player to have ever been on Survivor. He's the moron that told fellow players that his Grandmother had died, just so he would be chosen to win during a reward challenge. (his Grandmother was alive & well)

So you can imagine my pleasure when I saw this video of Danny Bonaduce slamming him to the group during an awards ceremony. Johnny Fairplay lost several teeth due to the slam, and he is, of course, planning on suing. I am suddenly a HUGE Bonaduce fan!

Turnaround really is Fairplay. SUCKER.