Hesitantly, I touch myself

I’ll admit it. I rarely do self breast exams. However, in light of Good Morning America’s co-host, Robin Roberts, having been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I recently caved in and did it.

I adore Robin Roberts. She’s just the kind of person you can imagine being friends with. Watching her report the news is like sitting down with someone you know. So when I heard about her recent cancer scare, I felt vulnerable and decided to feel myself up.

For the men reading this, let me tell ya; us girls don’t enjoy doing the exam. It’s not like you’re probably imagining. We don’t light candles, saunter out in our silk robes after a nice hot bubble bath, and lay nude on the bed, linger in certain spots, moaning as we check for lumps. SO DUMP THAT FANTASY! This is reality baby!

Here’s how it plays out for me. First off, I have BIG boobs. I can’t just decide to examine myself on a whim. I have to block some time off for myself. It’s a major undertaking.

Second off……..I have no idea what I’m really feeling for. I just kind of blindly poke around, a confused look on my face as I ask myself over and over, “Was that there before?” Then I move to the other side to see if I have the same thing there.

The more a woman examines her breasts, the more confused she becomes. You see, after feeling a certain place for awhile, that place becomes sore. Then the soreness concerns you. Also, the area begins to feel bigger. Then you do the only thing you know to do. You call in for a second opinion from your significant other. Of course, he will think you really just want sex, and will begin to focus all attention on your nipples.

In all seriousness, self examination really does help. A close friend of mine discovered Breast Cancer herself by doing an exam. So if at any time you feel something unusual, something that feels as hard as a knuckle, then go to your doctor and INSIST on a mammogram or an ultrasound. It could make all the difference.